and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
