That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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