dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
