WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
