I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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