Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
