I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize