Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize