I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
