so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
