I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
