found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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