Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
