we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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