Banned from zoo.
Again?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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