You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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