upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
