Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize