do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize