So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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