She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
