You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My vagina just clenched in fear
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
