As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
