No awkward lesbian experiences without me
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
