im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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