K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
