Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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