As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
