Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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