Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
