called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
