Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize