Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
