Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
