there was a trapeze. enough said
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
