I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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