why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
