Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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