i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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