Dual....:-)
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
