I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
