it hurts more in the daytime
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
