OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize