it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
whose parrot is this?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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