i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
