you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
