Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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