We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
