o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
