but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
