I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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