so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
