I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize