You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
