shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
