i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize