And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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