How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just invented taco cereal.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
