I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
