ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
