Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
