he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
