so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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