i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
