yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
