I wish I could teleport
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize