IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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