toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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